No. No no no, no no.
If I were to analyze and catalog the speech patterns of this particular tribe of "Les Enfant" I would find the scales tip heavily toward the word 'no'. That's not to say it is the predominant word of choice, but it is the overwhelming front runner in the category of "Answers Given Immediately to Any Number of Varied Questions". If this was a category on Jeopardy I would sweep that category hands down.
It was because of this speech pattern, that is so divergent from normal adult human speech, that I decided to begin a subset within my research of their speech. This research will mainly concern Dash, as Small One has yet to develop basic conversational skills and simply cannot keep up on any subject whether it be politics, art, or 'what is this object'.
Today I focused on testing Dash's seeming favorite word, or answer as the case may be. Here are some examples of my research testing on the basic usage of the word 'no' to "Les Enfants".
A) Me: Dash, would you like take a nap?
D: NO!
This first test was merely a control group. A question that I am fairly to mostly sure that he would answer with the negative "no". Naps are not a prized commodity among "Les Enfant" as you know by my previous journal entries.
B) Me: How about clean your room?
D: No.
C) Me: Would you like to have some ice cream?
D: No...uh, yeah!
With this response he wasn't even looking at me. His gut reaction, his standard response was "no". I thought that I could end it right there that his ready position was "no", but with the first two questions both being assumed "no" answers I had to make sure he wasn't finding out a pattern.
D) Me: Would you like to watch a movie?
D: Yes.
A twist. It seems there are some subjects that will get a first time answer of an affirmative "yes". But that still means that on an unconscious level, his ready made answer is still "no".
I decided to go rapid fire to find a pattern, if there was in fact one to be found.
Me: Wanna go outside?
Wanna clean your room?
Wanna go to the store?
Wanna play with your sister?
Wanna popsicle?
Wanna go to the dentist?
Wanna build a snowman?
Dash: No
No
No
No
N...Yes
No
Olaf!!
Didn't expect that last one. More research to continue this week.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Examining the Sleeping Patterns of the Wild Cliff Dweller
My research begins unexpectedly.
Of all the mammals in the world, most are diurnal. Meaning they stay awake during the day, and then sleep at night. Some are nocturnal, they are awake at night and asleep during the day. There are even some that are only active during twilight hours, crepuscular. Now I am faced with a new subset of the phylum mammalia, the omniurnal. Awake at all hours except when sleep is absolutely necessary.
....which is whenever I really don't need them to be asleep.
My initial research and background checking on 'Les Enfant' found that they usually take naps in either the late morning or early afternoon. By testing various technique in sleep motivation I hoped to witness their sleep style and patterns. As it turns out the younger female subject, we shall call her "Small One", and the older male "Dash", have different nap timings. Small One prefers late morning and Dash slows down in the early afternoon (if at all). This made it exceedingly difficult to study their sleeping patterns, but afforded me an opportunity to test different methods for putting them to sleep. First I tried stories. They tended to excite 'Les Enfant', especially Dash. Then I thought to wear them out with physical exercise. This worked wonderfully for Dash, but as Small One has not yet developed the ability to run...or walk...or even crawl yet, she remained awake. I was at my wits end. So I looked for outside assistance.
Having no access to any other members of their unique species to research I decided to visit their closest cousins at the Dallas Zoo primate exhibit and facility. It was my hope that upon seeing their close relatives that 'Les Enfant' might be reminded of some of their baser needs and cooperate with my attempts at getting them to sleep. We spent much of the morning and early afternoon communicating with several silverback gorillas, chimpanzees, and just to be sure some robotic dinosaurs as well. You never know what might resonate with 'Les Enfant'.
The gorillas were quite helpful, showing how to relax and lounge about. Dash especially was taking note and seemed to be responding to some of the gorilla's behavior. That was until the largest male began charging the bullet proof glass at random intervals. Dash then felt it was necessary to run to each part of the park we were visiting next.
The chimps were much more helpful, simply laying about among the trees. But even this backfired and both of 'Les Enfant' thought this to be too boring and so we left.
Even the robotic dinosaurs (a last ditch effort) offered no aide in draining the bottomless energy of the wild Cliff Dwellers. It seemed all my work was for naught until an unexpected ally came to my rescue.
For most species there is a point during the day that outside activity is so unbearable that they must hide until later in the afternoon or evening before continuing any type of physical labor. This is due to the extreme heat caused by the sun. Ah, that big, beautiful ball of burning gas. It is a beacon of exhaustion that can conquer any animal on the planet, even those with a seemingly endless supply of energy and strength. Within an hour they were wilted. Another half an hour later they were pleading to go home. Actually, they didn't want to ever leave, but their eyes were definitely pleading for home.
And so we came back home victorious in our attempt at sleep. Though my research has only begun I believe I can say that I have my first real breakthrough. I still must earn their trust, but for now I can rest easy knowing that they....are resting easy.
Of all the mammals in the world, most are diurnal. Meaning they stay awake during the day, and then sleep at night. Some are nocturnal, they are awake at night and asleep during the day. There are even some that are only active during twilight hours, crepuscular. Now I am faced with a new subset of the phylum mammalia, the omniurnal. Awake at all hours except when sleep is absolutely necessary.
....which is whenever I really don't need them to be asleep.
My initial research and background checking on 'Les Enfant' found that they usually take naps in either the late morning or early afternoon. By testing various technique in sleep motivation I hoped to witness their sleep style and patterns. As it turns out the younger female subject, we shall call her "Small One", and the older male "Dash", have different nap timings. Small One prefers late morning and Dash slows down in the early afternoon (if at all). This made it exceedingly difficult to study their sleeping patterns, but afforded me an opportunity to test different methods for putting them to sleep. First I tried stories. They tended to excite 'Les Enfant', especially Dash. Then I thought to wear them out with physical exercise. This worked wonderfully for Dash, but as Small One has not yet developed the ability to run...or walk...or even crawl yet, she remained awake. I was at my wits end. So I looked for outside assistance.
Having no access to any other members of their unique species to research I decided to visit their closest cousins at the Dallas Zoo primate exhibit and facility. It was my hope that upon seeing their close relatives that 'Les Enfant' might be reminded of some of their baser needs and cooperate with my attempts at getting them to sleep. We spent much of the morning and early afternoon communicating with several silverback gorillas, chimpanzees, and just to be sure some robotic dinosaurs as well. You never know what might resonate with 'Les Enfant'.
The gorillas were quite helpful, showing how to relax and lounge about. Dash especially was taking note and seemed to be responding to some of the gorilla's behavior. That was until the largest male began charging the bullet proof glass at random intervals. Dash then felt it was necessary to run to each part of the park we were visiting next.
The chimps were much more helpful, simply laying about among the trees. But even this backfired and both of 'Les Enfant' thought this to be too boring and so we left.
Even the robotic dinosaurs (a last ditch effort) offered no aide in draining the bottomless energy of the wild Cliff Dwellers. It seemed all my work was for naught until an unexpected ally came to my rescue.
For most species there is a point during the day that outside activity is so unbearable that they must hide until later in the afternoon or evening before continuing any type of physical labor. This is due to the extreme heat caused by the sun. Ah, that big, beautiful ball of burning gas. It is a beacon of exhaustion that can conquer any animal on the planet, even those with a seemingly endless supply of energy and strength. Within an hour they were wilted. Another half an hour later they were pleading to go home. Actually, they didn't want to ever leave, but their eyes were definitely pleading for home.
And so we came back home victorious in our attempt at sleep. Though my research has only begun I believe I can say that I have my first real breakthrough. I still must earn their trust, but for now I can rest easy knowing that they....are resting easy.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Our Journey Begins: An Introduction
In the year 1960, an ambitious primatologist from Cambridge began study of a group of chimpanzees in the Gombe Stream National Park, in Tanzania. Dr. Jane Goodall lived among the gentle beasts studying their habits, relationships within their group, and generally how chimpanzees live in the wild from an up close and deeply intimate view. It was ground-breaking research that has shaped how modern scientists look at the behavior of primates from that point on. It was her belief that to truly understand an animal or ecosystem you cannot just be a silent observer, a fly on the wall, you must dive into their world with all your mind, heart, and soul and become one of them.
This summer I embark on such a journey. For years now I have been able to keep a firm hold on reality and not lose myself in the world of "Les Enfant". Now without my wife and companion to keep me anchored I fear I drift into the unknown, far away from the shores that give me comfort. Though I had little choice in the matter, I have decided to embrace this situation as a learning opportunity and a chance to possibly crack the code that is "children".
Throughout each week I will conduct my research and condense my observations and findings into three journal entries a week. It is my hope that I can provide a theme each week to give my observations a clear, and hopefully interesting, story arc. This will provide an easier to digest narrative than a simple research paper could provide and perhaps be entertaining as well. During my time spent in this strange and wonderful world I will refer to my research subjects by nicknames so as to protect their anonymity.
I hope you will join me on this journey of discovery. It is my wish that my research can be of help to you someday should you make the ill-advised and wildly reckless decision to tread the same waters as I, and venture too far out away from shore into that deep, dark, unknown world of "Les Enfant".
This summer I embark on such a journey. For years now I have been able to keep a firm hold on reality and not lose myself in the world of "Les Enfant". Now without my wife and companion to keep me anchored I fear I drift into the unknown, far away from the shores that give me comfort. Though I had little choice in the matter, I have decided to embrace this situation as a learning opportunity and a chance to possibly crack the code that is "children".
Throughout each week I will conduct my research and condense my observations and findings into three journal entries a week. It is my hope that I can provide a theme each week to give my observations a clear, and hopefully interesting, story arc. This will provide an easier to digest narrative than a simple research paper could provide and perhaps be entertaining as well. During my time spent in this strange and wonderful world I will refer to my research subjects by nicknames so as to protect their anonymity.
I hope you will join me on this journey of discovery. It is my wish that my research can be of help to you someday should you make the ill-advised and wildly reckless decision to tread the same waters as I, and venture too far out away from shore into that deep, dark, unknown world of "Les Enfant".
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